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THROWBACK THURSDAY UP IN THIS BITCH. I was saving this recipe for my upcoming cookbook but you guys said FUCK THAT. So here is the most requested recipe, The Thug Kitchen RCB Burrito.
ROASTED CHICKPEA & BROCCOLI BURRITO
3 cups of cooked chickpeas (2-15 ounce cans, drained)
1 large yellow onion
1 red bell pepper
1 large crown of broccoli
4 cloves of garlic
3 tablespoons olive oil
1-2 tablespoons soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (You can usually find this old school hippie shit near the vinegars or soy sauces in the healthy eating section of most big grocery stores and on the internet)
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander or more cumin if you don’t want to go to the store
black pepper or cayenne pepper to taste
Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Chop up the onion, bell pepper, and broccoli so that all the pieces about the size of a chickpea. Chop up the garlic real small but save that shit until later. Place all the chopped up veggies in a large bowl with the cooked chickpeas. Pour in the oil and soy sauce, stir, and then throw all the spices in there. Mix until all the vegetables and shit are covered.
Put all of that on a large rimmed baking sheet (like what you would put cookies on but with an edge) and bake for 20 minutes. Take it out of the oven, don’t fucking burn yourself, add the garlic, and bake for another 15 minutes. The broccoli will look a little burnt at this point but that is the plan so chill the fuck out and take it out of the oven. Squeeze the juice of half of the lime over the pan and stir the roasted chickpeas and veggies all around. Taste some and see if it needs more spices or anything. Now make a fucking burrito. I like mine with spinach, avocado, cilantro, and some fire roasted salsa but you do your thing.
makes 6-8 burritos
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You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy. You can even leave it in the sun for a minute and it won’t get all gross like that potatomayo nonsense they try to pass off as a salad. People don’t deserve that basic, bland shit.
FRESH HERB POTATO SALAD
1 1/2 pounds of small red or Yukon gold potatoes
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons lemon juice (about 1 lemons)
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
1/3 cup shredded carrot (I used 1 normal-sized carrot. Don’t try to grate baby carrots; you will fuck your hand up)
¼ cup of chopped chives (you can use green onions to save some cash)
¼ cup chopped dill
salt and pepper
Cut your potatoes in half or until they are in pieces that you can actually put in your mouth. Nobody should need a knife to eat potato salad, that shit is fucked. Boil some water in a medium pot, add a pinch of salt, and the potatoes. Boil them until you can easily stab a fork through one, like 10-15 minutes depending on the size of your potatoes. If you cook them too long they start falling apart and your salad will be a fucking mess. Set a timer if your ass is easily distracted.
While the potatoes cook, cut up the garlic into a bunch of tiny pieces. Mix together the mustard, vinegar, lemon juice, oil, and garlic in a small glass. Drain the potatoes and put them in a large bowl. Add the dressing and toss it all together. Add the carrots, herbs, and a little salt and pepper and mix them in. Let the salad sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes so that the potatoes can soak in all the flavor. If it looks dry after that then add a little more vinegar and olive oil and stir that bitch. Make this shit the day before you go somewhere and keep it in the fridge. Nobody will know the fucking difference.
Serves 4 as a side
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Don’t give me that “I don’t eat breakfast” bullshit. It’s too early to be an asshole. The fiber in the oatmeal helps control your blood sugar and keeps you feeling full until lunch. The quinoa gives your morning a little extra protein because why the fuck not? Start your day right by owning the shit out of it. CARPE FUCKING DIEM.
1 cup steel cut oats (they aren’t all mushy like regular oatmeal)
½ cup quinoa (I used scarlet quinoa but you grab whatever you can find)
1 teaspoon olive or coconut oil
4 cups water
½ cup almond milk (or whatthefuckever milk you prefer)
Heat up the water in a kettle on the stovetop or in the microwave until it is near boiling. Put the quinoa in a strainer and rinse that shit so it isn’t bitter after you cook it. Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat and add the steel cut oats. Stir them around and cook until they smell kinda toasty, like 1-2 minutes. Add the quinoa and the water and bring it all to a boil (this won’t take long because the water should already be hot as fuck). Turn down the heat on the pot and let it simmer. Go check your tumblr or Facebook shit while it cooks for about 20 minutes. It should taste done now, not hard but still a little chewy. Add the milk and turn off the heat. Serve with fresh fruit, nuts, maple syrup, brown sugar, whateverthefuck will get you through your day.
Serves 4 (love to hit snooze? double the recipe and heat up the leftovers all week)
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